Defining Dreams

One of the toughest first date questions…“So what are you passionate about?” GULP!    

If we were all a little more candid in response to that question, it could go something like this…I am passionate about brushing my teeth really well before I go to bed.  Two minutes just isn’t enough time to get the job done right.  I am passionate about going to the county fair.  The pigs are my favorite because they have so much personality.  Let me also add that I am passionate about eating real food for breakfast.

Most of us would probably never be that candid or silly.  Why not?  I believe it’s because we feel an underlying pressure to have one passion that breathes life into our souls and gives us a purpose for living.  Without an all-consuming passion, we might just come across as ordinary people.

The same underlying pressure exists when it comes to dreams.  By dreams, I mean our goals and desires.  For some reason, what we label as ‘dreams’ seems to be only those aspirations which include exotic lands, prestigious titles, or back-breaking sacrifice.  But why do dreams have to be big, noble, or innovative in order to be labeled dreams? 

Can we be dreamers even if our dreams are small, random, or uncreative?  Absolutely!  There are no parameters defining dreams.  It’s a matter of how we define dreams and dreamers in our minds. 

It’s also a matter of how we react and encourage others when they share their dreams.  For example, compare the two following responses that a girl could give to her date when he shares that he is passionate about brushing his teeth (to be a little silly):  (1) “I love it!  Just out of curiosity, what do you think about when you brush your teeth?”  (2) “That’s random, so what are you majoring in again?”

With response (1), the couple could probably have a hilarious follow-up conversation.  Even more importantly, the guy would walk away feeling confident about his passions, even the small ones.  The girl would walk away with a better idea of what makes her date, himself.

With response (2), it’s clear that there would be no potential for an awesome teeth brushing party.  Worse yet, the guy would walk away subconsciously feeling that the only passions worth sharing are the socially-expected ones and not necessarily the ones which make him himself.

Just as it does for passions, our reactions when others share their dreams can send different messages. 

I used to think that I wasn’t a dreamer.  I eventually realized that I was looking at it the wrong way.  We are all dreamers.  We dream more than we realize.  Sometimes it’s a matter of adjusting our viewpoint.  (Here’s a little secret--adjusting our viewpoints can help with a lot of “I’m not _________” statements.)

Once we believe that we are dreamers and once we give ourselves permission to dream small, we will find that we dream more.  Dreaming won’t be something that only those people with perfect lives do.  We will dream even when we are busy or tired.

I would be amiss if I did not acknowledge Heavenly Father’s ability to create dreams within us.  Several years ago, I returned from a mission for The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.  I never dreamed of being a missionary when I was growing up.  Then, one day about six months into my missionary service, I realized that being a missionary was my dream. 

I recently accepted a full time job offer.  It’s a different position than what I ever expected to have, but suddenly I feel that it is my dream job.  Heavenly Father has implanted that genuine enthusiasm within me.  He’s created the dream within me.

In the spirit of writing about dreams, I’ll share a few of my simple dreams for the upcoming weeks.  I would love to hear from you, as well, about your dreams.

I am dreaming of making delicious berry pies for Thanksgiving.  I am dreaming of building a fire in the woodstove when I go home.  I am dreaming of going sledding this winter.  I am dreaming of memorizing “The Living Christ.”  I am dreaming of finishing a book called The Outliers by the end of December.  I am dreaming of putting together food packets that I can leave in my car to give to homeless people.…Now it’s your turn to naming!