Our Beautiful Heartbreak

Meet my adorable nephew:

 

In the words of the singer Hilary Weeks, he is our "beautiful heartbreak."

The story begins in 2011.  My brother and sister-in-law learned that they were going to be able to adopt a little boy.  As the time drew closer, my brother and sister-in-law talked about possible names.  One day my sister-in-law proposed a new name and it felt right.  There came an assurance that this little boy was supposed to be a part of the Blunck family and that was the right name for him.

The time came for my nephew’s birth and my brother and sister-in-law flew out to pick him up.  They arrived at their destination, and then suddenly everything changed.  They weren’t able to adopt their son.

My sister-in-law describes driving into the garage after flying home as one of the most difficult moments of the whole experience.  Her two sons ran up to the car as fast as their little legs could carry them and begged to see their new brother.  She had to explain that they weren’t going to have another brother after all.

She shares that after flying home without her son, one song stood out to her.  She listened to it over and over again and let the tears flow.  It was Hilary Weeks’ song “Beautiful Heartbreak.”

The lyrics are powerful and touching:

I had it all mapped out in front of me
Knew just where I wanted to go
But life decided to change my plans
And I found a mountain in the middle of my road
I knew there was no way to move it
So I searched for a way around
Broken-hearted I started climbing
And at the top I found

Every fear, every doubt, all the pain I went through
Was the price that I paid to see this view
Now that I'm here I would never trade
The grace that I feel and the faith that I find
Through the bittersweet tears and the sleepless nights
I used to pray He'd take it all away
But instead it became
A beautiful heartbreak

I never dreamed my heart would make it
And I thought about turning around
But Heaven has shown me miracles
I never would have seen from the ground
Now I take the rain with the sunshine
Cause there's one thing that I know
He picks up the pieces
Along each broken road

Every fear, every doubt, all the pain I went through
Was the price that I paid to see this view
Now that I'm here I would never trade
The grace that I feel and the faith that I find
Through the bittersweet tears and the sleepless nights
I used to pray He'd take it all away
But instead it became
A beautiful heartbreak

The entire situation was utterly confusing for my brother and sister-in-law because there had been an assurance that the adoption was supposed to happen.  How could they have returned home without him?  Reluctantly and “broken-hearted [they] started climbing” the mountain in front of them.

Many months later, they received a phone call that changed their lives.  They were invited to fly out and bring their son home after all.  There is no doubt that was a miracle.

While this a story with a beautiful ending, there were also feelings of true heartbreak. 

Some people question God’s reality because they see heartbreak in the world and experience it in their lives.  They believe that the suffering is a sign that God doesn’t love us or that He’s not real.

Those thoughts are misguided.  God understands heartbreak better than anyone.  That’s because He watched His perfect son experience the “gall of bitterness” to pay for sins that the son had never committed.  It would break any parent’s heart not to intervene when seeing his child suffer so intensely.  God, the perfect father, surely suffered more than any mortal father ever could when He watched his first-born son suffer in Gethsemane and on the cross.  It broke His heart not to intervene on His son’s behalf.  The only reason that God did not intervene is because He knew that Christ’s suffering was necessary for us to be able to return to God.

We are all intimately acquainted with heartbreak, be it big or small.  I pray that this little post leaves you feeling encouraged.  I don’t pretend that every heartbreak will end with a miraculous turn of events.  I also recognize that discussing the potential of heartbreaks to strengthen us does not suddenly make a current heartbreak feel all-better.

I hope that you will feel assurance that heartbreaks can be beautiful.  Even the heartbreaks with no surprise happy endings can be beautiful because they give us the opportunity to watch how “He picks up the pieces along each broken road.”  We can experience Christ’s strengthening power and find the courage to take steps forward.

Below is the music video for "Beautiful Heartbreak."  I think you'll love it!